I Got Screwed!

I got screwed! That's what I claim all the time, and no doubt it's what most of us feel all too often. We're trying to live our lives as well as possible, but something, or sombody, always intereferes.

Life is tough, there's no getting around that. Jobs. finances, family, religion, all of that and more. We want to be strong, to be the ones who have it all together. In truth, we struggle with virtually everything. And why? Because we have a perception, often falsely, of what we should do, of what we in fact actually do, and for some reason things just don't work out for us. Our conclusion? We got screwed!

Oh, I have spent so many years under this perspective; that I knew what to do and the rest of the world just didn't accept my way. I got screwed! That was my mantra. In time I realized what a sad way that was to go through life.

The truth is this; I do know what I want, and I do know, for the most part, what to do. The fact that so many people, even society in general, doesn't agree with me is not my concern. My goal is not to live up to an artifical standard. True, there are boundaries of ethics, legalities and morals regarding all of our lives. I get that (to a point). But the personal standards of my life are not set by society. If they are, it is only because I have allowed that to be the case.

I realized, now that I am older (believe me, there is wisdom with age) that feeling like I got screwed is not a statement about society or how other people think; it is purely a statement of how I think. No one can "screw" me. I have my thoughts and my beliefs, and I am free to feel and express them as I choose. I don't need acceptance from anyone, just like no one needs acceptance from me. I don't govern the thoughts of others. and they don't govern my thoughts.

Ah, but getting "screwed" in life is not about thoughts, it's about actions. It's about not getting what you deserve for unfair reasons. Yes, I have felt that too. I sit here today knowing I could be so much more than I am. I also know I could be so much less than I am. The fact is, I am who I am. Did I get a bad break or two? Sure. Did I get a lucky break or two? Of course. The point is, I am not who I am as a result of society; I am who I am as a result of me. That truth is both terrifying and peaceful at the same time. It's about accountability. Did someone else dictate the misfortunes in my life, or did I dictate the good fortunes?

There is only one answer to this question. We have not all been blessed with the same starting point, i.e. how we were born into this world. I don't now why that is, and neither does anyone else. But given where we started, we have substantial control of how we grow through life. It's so easy and convenient to say otherwise, but the truth is that the vast majority of good or bad fortunes in our lives result from the good or bad decisions we have made. That is the truth. For you, for me, for all of us. I so want to believe that someone else is responsible for me not being rich. I want to hold someone else accountable for anything bad that has happened to me. But I cannot escape the truth that, in the end, I live and die by my decisions; my faith, my choices, my open mindedness, my commitments. I am not a victim of life, I am the creator of life.

Quite a frightening thought. Could I possibly be accountable for my misfortunes? I want to say no, but I see opportunities in life that I have not siezed. The better question is, can I take control of my life? For most of us the answer is yes. Sure, there are sadly some out there who truly are victims, and that is undescribably sad. But most of us, the vast majority, are not victims. We simply are more comfortable in the role of a victim. That is insulting to both ourselves and the true victims of this world.

Better Than Steven Wright

Okay, so my last blog, which was called Humor, was a bit satirical. Now it's time for some real humor. This is what I call "Better than Steven Wright". Do you know who Steven Wright is? If not, don't read on because this won't make much sense. However, as a reminder for those of you who might know of him, he is famous for a very dry sense of humor illustrated by one-liners like "I live at the end of a one way street. Once I get home, I can never leave." If you find that funny, than hopefully you will appreciate my "Better than Steven Wright" one-liners. And Mr. Wright, if you read this, my apologies in advance.

Better than Steven Wright:

1. Yesterday I dreamed about tomorrow. Today seems like a memory.
2. A man told me I look like my father. My father's dead.
3. I was there when a tree fell in the forest. Now I know.
4. I don't understand why the world is always at war. Can't we just kill the people who don't believe in peace?
5. I was told that I should "see the world". I looked down.