Humor

A dear friend of mine suggested that I should "lighten up" and stop talking about depressing things like death all the time. Well, first of all, for those of you who read my previous blogs, I was not writing about death, but rather the celebration of life. And yes, there is nothing like recognizing our mortality to appreciate life all the more. That said, I agree it's time to lighten up. I want to talk about something funny.

Hmmmmm. What's funny? In today's world there just doesn't seem to be the humor there used to be. I know! I'll make something up, something so bizarre that it can’t help be funny. How about this? Let’s say there is a person who is a governor of a northern state. Let’s call her Sandy, just to give her a name. Sandy Painintheass. Now let’s say this person, with virtually no national recognition, is asked to be a vice presidential candidate. Already you can see the humor in this. Of course there is no reason why such a person would get this opportunity, so let’s go one step further and say she’s hot. In our society, that’s enough credentials for pretty much anything. Ha. That’s funny.

Now let’s say Ms. Painintheass does what would be predicted and makes a fool of herself in the campaign. Well, it’s so predictable that it really isn’t funny, so to add a humorous twist, let’s say she finally returns to her home state, defeated, and then…..resigns for no reason! Now that’s funny.

Just to get a little silly, let’s go on and say this person, Sandy P., decides to run for president. OMG, that is hysterical. But wait; let’s say, in the spirit of humor, THAT SHE WINS! HA! That is a gut buster. I know I’m in stitches. Of course this could never happen, unless we live in a society that values hot women over skilled leaders. Yeah, I know, we don't have any of those either so it's kind of a moot point.

That was fun. Let’s think about more funny stuff. Let’s suppose there was a man many years ago that was a truly righteous man. Let’s suppose further that this man, we’ll call him Andy, actually became the father of a great religion. Well, that’s not funny. In fact, that’s kind of cool. So what if Andy, in time, actually became the father of a second great religion? Not likely, of course, but still not funny. Just to push this to the point of absurdity, let’s suppose Andy actually became the father of a third great religion. I know, I know, it could never happen. But if it did, it would be really cool because all of these religions would believe in a single supreme being, they would all believe in a peaceful earth, and they would all believe in loving all human beings.

Well, this would be so cool that there is just nothing to laugh at. So just for fun, let’s say these three great religions spent centuries killing each other in the name of world peace. HA! Now we’re getting some humor. Can you imagine anything so utterly silly? Of course this is not realistic, unless we live in a society that allows a person to rule the whole free world simply because she’s hot. Oh, now we’re having fun.

Okay, one more just for the road. Remember when you were young, I mean very young, and learned how to bounce a rubber ball on the playground. That was fun. Some, of course, became better at bouncing that ball than others. So in the spirit of continuing our joviality, let’s say two such children grew up and started families. One, who labored hard each day, was told he was no longer needed and he and his family were driven from their home. Well, that’s not funny, that’s sad. Where the humor comes in is that we’ll pretend the other person, the one who learned how to bounce the ball really well, actually gets tens of millions of dollars for bouncing that ball and lives in a mansion only a few miles from where the first person had to vacate his home. Who can’t see the humor in that? If that doesn’t bust your gut, nothing will!

Ooooohhh, this has been fun. Humor is truly the best medicine.

Aging

Not long ago I was sitting with some of my friend and our kids. Keep in mind that our kids are all in their twenties and thirties. One young lady made some innocent yet mildly derogatory comment about "old" people. She immediately looked at me, turn a little red, and apologized for the remark.

My first thought was, why apologize to me? I'm 55, but far from the oldest person in the room. I didn't get it. But my thoughts then turned to a number of other people.

I remember in eigth grade I sat in front of a guy named Don and behind a girl named Karen. We used to whisper and acrew around and always got into trouble. We ended up becoming great friends. They both died of cancer at age 22.

My son went to school with a great kid named Eric. He was full of life and energy and brought a sense of joy with him where ever he went. He died of cancer at age 18.

There are so many others; young people who were swept away far too prematurely. Some by disease, some by accidents, and of course there are those brave young people in the military who are taken by war.

I sat listening to the young lady speaking, and I thought how lucky I was to be 55. For some reason I was fortunate enough to get through life, at least so far. I married a wonderful woman and raised three fantastic children. Why I was allowed this life and others had their lives snuffed out so early I'll never know. What I do know is that age is not a bad thing. In fact, being given the opportunity to grow and experience all the wonderful things life has to offer is a blessing and a privilage.

I know the young lady who made the comment did so innocently, but nevertheless it illustrated our society's view of growing old. It is seen as a bad, even a terrible thing. I looked at the young woman and said, "You know what? I clearly remember being your age, but you can only hope and pray you get to be my age."

For every young person out there who had the blessing of life snatched away too early, I gladly accept the wows of age. Aging is not to be dreaded, it is not a curse. It is perhaps the great blessing we can receive.

Today

Today I discovered I am going to die. Just like that. I guess I am mortal after all.

It’s funny in a way. The first thing I thought of was all the times as a child, as a teen, and even as an adult that I discussed with friends and family what we would do if we knew we were going to die. Would we take that trip we’ve been planning forever? Would we do something wild and crazy to go out with a bang? Or would we take the time to appreciate the little things? That is what I always said I would do. Hug my children much more often. Tell my wife I love her every day, in fact many times each day. Get up early and watch the sunrise, and sit with my family to relish the moment. That’s what I would do if I knew I was going to die.

But of course that was all moot, because I knew I was not going to die. So instead, I worked the extra hours, worried about money, made sure my house and car were at least as good as all of my friends. I always knew these were not the most important things in life, but I had to deal with reality. I had to provide for my family.

What about looking after the needs of others less fortunate than myself, or going to church more than once or twice a month? What about the underprivileged people I always thought I should help but couldn’t because “I had responsibilities”? If I knew I was going to die, I would have done more for them.

Well, I found out today that I am going to die. What do I do now? It’s no longer a game to play, but now I must face the facts. Now my reality is dealing with my mortality, and all the important things I will never be able to do.

I want to hug my children every day, every hour, every minute. I want to tell my wife I love her with the passion I felt when I was young. I want to grasp onto and cherish the simple things that I always knew were the most important things in life. I don’t want to go out feeling that I wasted my most precious gift.

Today I discovered I am going to die. The good news is that, barring a horrible tragedy, I should last another forty or fifty years, or maybe more. You see, there is nothing wrong with me. I am in perfect health. But today I discovered, or more accurately I realized for the first time, that I am in fact going to die. Whether it’s in forty minutes or forty years doesn’t really matter, the significance is the same. I want to hug my children, tell my wife I love her. I want to help those in need. I want to be the kind of person that I have been putting off my entire life for a more “appropriate time”.

I am going to die, and so is my wife, and so are all my children, and so is everyone that I know. But not today. Thank God, not today.

Today I still have time. Today is still mine, to do all the things I always thought that I should do. Today I still have a choice.

Thank God that today I realized I was going to die, so that when I do, I can leave this world in peace, knowing that I made the most of my special gift. I did hug my children, I did tell my wife I love her, I did help those in need.

When will I actually die? Of course I do not know, and now, finally, I do not care, because today I had a special day with my family, and tomorrow I will again.

Today I have a choice, and now, finally, I know that I will make the right choice.

Friends

Okay, this is a tough subect, even though on the surface it seems pretty straightforword. Friends can have a unique place in our lives, but sometimes not a good place. However, the right friend can have a very special place, something that is irreplacecable. The irony is that we don't always know the difference; when is a friend special, and when is a friend a liability?

Oh, I know, friends are those special people that make our lives meaningful. In spirit I agree with that, but not always in practice, for sometimes a "friend" is a sheep in wolf's clothing. So how should we value our friends?

Let's start with a very important point. I believe strongly that family has a very special relationship. Family is that tie to other people who supercede any form of emotion. My brother is my brother, my mother is my mother, no matter how I feel. There is something extremely special about family. I love my family.

Friends are different, and in some cases, friends can make you vulnerable. But in many cases they can make you strong. A friend is completely inverse to family; family is who family is; no choice, no decision, no selection. It's what makes them special and unique. Conversely, a friend is who you select; someone you choose as special, someone whose company you enjoy for no definable reason. A person who allows you to be who you are.

Family is extremely important to all of us, like it or not. But friends are equally important to us in different ways. I have been blessed in my life with a good and strong family. But, unfiortunately, that isn't always enough for me to talk through all my dilemas, to work through all my worries and problems. Family is special, very special. But I know people who are simply "friends" that have a huge influence on my life. They may have their own lives, live in other states, and not even directly interact with my life, but they are still an extremely important part of who I am or what I will become.

My friends, my true friends, are not just a group of people I happen to know, they are absolutely a part of me. They define who I am. I love my friends, and I miss my friends that I cannot see on a regular basis. If my friends are true, I am a lesser man for not being with them more.

I Ache, and I'm So Thankful

I must confess that I am older now. And as is normal with age, my body experiences all kinds of aches and pains I never thought possible. To some, this could be quite depressing.

I sit in a comfortable chair on my little patio and let my old body relax. My children, now all grown, don't think I can remember when I was their age. But they are wrong, as all middle aged and older people know. I remember quite well feeling painless and strong. I must admit part of me misses those days.

As I rest in my chair, I become aware of each ache in my muscles and my joints, and I know just where each one came from. My sore knee that always acts up in cool weather was the result of a spectacular fall on the ski slopes at Lutsen Minnesota when I was vacationing with my family. There was some pain, but it was a great trip. Then there is my throbbing ankle, which came from playing soccer when I was in the navy. I still keep in touch with my friends from back then. A great bunch of guys from a great time in my life. And of course my back, my pour aching, throbbing back. It was victimized by years of carrying young kids, sometimes much too big to be carried. I remember more than once when I carried all three of them at the same time. And I'll never forget our visit to Washington, D. C. on a very hot summer day when I had to (or chose to) take turns carrying my children on my shoulders as we toured the monuments, knowing they were too young to remember any of them.

Yes, my body is now full of aches, but I love each and everyone of them. They are not something to dread; they are in fact a badge of honor. I sit here, with my aches and pains, and revisit so many wonderful episodes in my life. God certainly knew what he was doing when he created the human body. I like my aches. They're somewhat like a picture album in my mind. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Yes, I ache, but I am so thankful for that.