The Christmas Miracle

Once again it has been quite some time since my last post.  I think that is a pattern that will last forever.

My topic today, not surprising given the time of year, is Christmas.  And in truth, a somewhat sober view of Christmas.  I grew up, as so many children did, thinking Christmas was the most fabulous time ever.  Of course, as a very young boy, it was all about presents.  But my parents always did a very good job at making sure we understood the true meaning of Christmas, which of course is the birth of Christ.  When I was somewhere around ten years old, I can't say I fully understood all that is involved in Christmas and Jesus' life, but I did know enough to appreciate that he came into this world to save us, and there was always a sense of peace at Christmas time.

Little by little, no matter how motivated I tried to be, I grew older and experienced life in all its wonder and its horror.  At Christmas I still felt the sense of peace I had when I was younger, but it was starting to wane.  I desperately wanted to believe everything would be okay because Christ was born and the world would experience his peace.  I kept thinking positive, even if it was a bit naïve.  To be clear, I have had a wonderful life, but all of us, every human being alive, experiences struggles on a regular basis.  There were major events like Vietnam and Watergate that made me question what role God was playing in this world.  There were personal things, people I knew who died, families experiencing divorce, cancer, unemployment.  I lost my first job shortly before Christmas one year.  Still, I used Christmas as a time to rejoice, but in truth I was questioning why Christmas was special at all.  For five weeks I would spend more money than I had to celebrate this special day, and then the next day nothing changed, and for eleven more months we all dealt with the woes of life.

Now I'm older still, just turned 60.  Even people that have had great lives have seen a lot of pain and tragedy by 60, and I am no different.  I sit here listening to Christmas carols about how Christmas is the time we all come together in a bond of love and peace, yet the TV tells of continual mass shootings, these crazy ISIS people, protest in many of our major cities about things I'm not even clear on, marriages and families torn apart at record levels, children are frequently abused, even by those we used to think were incapable of such things, and all that is on a good day.  I mean, really, are we actually going to rejoice and pretend things will someday get better?  Here is what I have learned in sixty years; there never was peace on earth, and there never will be.  Wars will never go away, the hopeless desperation of millions of people won't go away, millions of children will continue to be abused, and I cannot stop it.  Life takes its toll, and I fear I've crossed over to believing Christmas is a total façade.

But then, I look over and see the little manger scene we have in our house.  The little baby born in the middle of a cold night to complete poverty.  Against all odds, this baby changed the world.  What I realized is that the world didn't change in the way I would have like to see it change.  As stated above, there are still wars, there is still pain, that will never go away.  But that's not why Jesus came into this world.  I used to think it was, and I became terribly disappointed.  I now see that Jesus came to us to teach us a few very simple points; 1) He loves us and we should love him, as well as love all people; 2) He will never abandon us, which doesn't mean he will magically remove our problems, but he will guide us and help us with our ability to deal with them; 3) As hopeless as the world may outwardly appear, there is always hope for us internally.  In short, Jesus, never did promise to "fix" our world, but he gave us the ability to individually find our own peace, our own happiness, our own sense of love and contentment.  With this, we can use these gifts to help the world.  Not to "fix" the world, because it's probably not "fixable",  but we can help it and be a positive influence for others.

The miracle I experienced this Christmas is to finally realize Christmas has nothing to do with God altering this mess of a world we humans made, but it reminds us that we can lean on him as we trudge through and do our best to deal with the world and maybe, if we work hard, make it a tiny bit better for someone.  Christmas is not magical; it is a time to refresh our own sense of who we are and who God wants us to be, and then to suck it up and say, "Jesus, with your help, I'm going to give life a shot one more year."  And then, with renewed energy, go out and do just that.

Christmas is truly the greatest time of the year.

Times Change...Or Do They?

I remember going to the lake when I was a child.  In fact, some of my earliest memories are of viewing the serene water with dense woods along the far shore.  It was beautiful.


Now, at age 60 (almost), I come to the same place, and see essentially the same thing.  But now, what I see is so very different.  Not that the difference is something all that tangible.  It is, in fact, still a tranquil lake bounded by a densely wooded area.  But what I see is different.


As I child, I saw nature in its purest form, viewed through the unfiltered eyes of innocent youth.  What I saw then was basically trees and water.  Now, I survey the same setting through the filter of 60 years of life.  What I now notice is the is that the trees look different, depending upon where they are.  Those in the more open areas have grown large and strong.  They have filled out evenly and are, by anybody's standards, "pretty".  The trees in the denser areas have had to struggle to survive. They are not as big, they are not as evenly filled out, they are not as "pretty".  I almost feel sorry for those trees because they haven't had the same chance as the trees in the open.


I also notice how many trees are dead.  They just couldn't make it through the storms and the competition for survival.  And there are no monuments to them.  They simply lay by the wayside and decay, all but forgotten.


I look at this vision of the lake and the woods and realize how it is in many ways exactly the same as I remember it, but in many ways it is completely different.  It all depends on the perspective one gets from the filter of life.  I suppose one could say that my new perspective is a sadder version than that of my youth.  There is no denying that there is an element of sadness when anything is viewed through the filter of 60 years of life, but one could also say that my new perspective is inspiring.  Through all the storms, the droughts, the fires, the lake and the forest still stand as majestic as ever.  They continue to win the battle.


An obvious question is, which perspective, or which view, is more beautiful?  The answer should be equally obvious; they are both the same.  My filter has changed, but things around me have not, at least not in a significant way.  The beauty I observed in my innocent youth is the same beauty I witness today.  I can choose to not see the beauty because of my filter.  Sixty years of life; pain, stress, anxiety, death; these have a way of hiding the beauty.  But in that same sixty years there has been joy, excitement, love, and tremendous growth.  My filter is not a physical one, like rose colored glasses.  It is one of pure emotion that does not effect what I see, but only how I see it.


I leave the lake and the forest today feeling a strong sense of peace.  After all, I am also part of nature.  I can choose to stand majestically even after all the storms of my life.

Just Do It

I like to write about things that are inspirational, at least to me, and also maybe things that are a bit light hearted, not wanting to get too serious.  But sometimes we need to just say what's on our mind.  The thing on my mind now is I am sick and tired of all the bullshit out their about God and religion.  Now don't get me wrong, This is not about God, who I believe in passionately, and in a sense it is not even about religion, although as I have discussed in the past, religion is more ambiguous than many of us think.  No, this is about the pure, unadulterated shit that people from all corners of the earth and from all faiths throw at us with unprecedented frequency and ferocity.


Many of our children struggle with their faith, not because they do not have the fundamental sense of God that I believe we all have, but because we, meaning our entire society, force them into bizarre and unrealistic compromises and decisions.  We place upon them a conflicting set of rules and beliefs that do not even make sense to us, least of all trying to get the next generation to buy into them.  For example:

• You should love all people, but only marry someone from your religion.  Why?  Because that's what I was taught.
• You should respect all religions, but understand ours is the only "right" one.  How do you know?  Because that's what Scripture says (and all religions use this same argument).
• There is only one God, but the true God is the God we choose to believe in (again, all religions feel the same way).
• God wants us to love each other and live in peace, and if people do not agree with that, we will either force them to or drive them out.

With regards to our children, this is at best confusing and at worst very damaging.  But far worse than that is how this plays out world wide.  Look at all the wars that have been fought and are being fought in the name of God.  Look at ISIS and all the craziness associated with that organization.  Look at all the completely f'd up things going on in this world because of the fanatical behavior of people from differing faiths.  Well you know what?  You all suck!  If you want to live in peace and harmony, than simply choose to do so.  If you believe in God and feel the need to fight or have a conflict over something that you feel is what God wants, then get you friggin' head out of you ass and understand what God really wants.  He/She wants peace and harmony and for all of us to love each other.  Is that so friggin' hard to understand?  People need to stop acting like they know what God wants and start doing what God has told us, and more importantly, what God has shown us.


How do you stop all the horrible violence in the world?  Do you use force?  Attack and kill people?  What are our choices?  How about we do what we tell our young children every day when they fight in the sandbox?  Just stop.  Don't do that anymore.  You're getting too old to act like that!


Does God want us to figure out a way for "good" to overcome "evil"?  No, that's not our job.  We can't even agree what "good" and "evil" are.  God will take care of that.  Our job is simply to love each other and respect each other.  It's time to follow Nike's slogan and "Just Do It".

Achieving Peace

          Have you ever wondered what it would be like to find complete peace of mind?  I'm sure all of us have at one time or another.  But it also seems that no one, at least no one I know, has ever found it.  Sure, we have good days, and many of us are even content with life, but that's not the same as total peace of mind.  I'm talking about true, stress free, anxiety free peace.  Is it possible?  Could that be heaven?  Well, here is my partially imagined, partially real recollections of a meditative journey to find peace.

          I believe, like most people, that we should always try to look on the bright side of things, to see the silver lining in the clouds.  I feel I have been able to do a pretty good job at this, but at the same time I recognize it is only human to want more and better things.  I also realize that life isn’t always fair, but yet I am often troubled when I see how much unfairness there is in the world.  I wonder, sometimes, why God allows bad things to happen, why he allows good people to suffer.  No matter how I try to “look on the bright side”, the unfairness of the world is always right in front of us, almost taunting us.  What would it take to be truly content in life?  Not just accepting of the unfairness and of the bad things that can happen, but truly, blissfully at peace?

            I sit back, close my eyes and begin to meditate.  At first my meditation is little more than concentrating on issues that tend to bother me.  What would the world actually be like if there was no suffering, no pain, no unfairness?  In this mild level of meditation I envision a utopian world that we have seen in movies or read about in fictional stories.  Everything is good, everybody is good.  There is no evil.  Conceptually I get it, but what would the world actually be like?  Surprisingly, even in my meditative state, this world doesn’t seem to make sense.  Even if I had everything I want, what’s to stop me from wanting more?  If I always feel wonderful, why wouldn’t I want to feel even better?  This new world is a nice thought, but it is not blissful, and it does not bring the peace I hope to find.  In fact, it almost perpetuates the concerns I was feeling in the “real world”.

            I fall deeper into my meditative state, and I begin to realize that I cannot ever find true bliss, true peace, as long as I am focused even in a small way on me.  As long as I am searching for something better for myself, bliss and peace will elude me.  My mind drifts to a new level, one where I truly have no concerns for myself.  It is liberating in many ways, and I experience something like a great pressure being lifted from me.  Is this it?  Is this the perfect world?  Could this be heaven?

The answer is no.  Even here I do not feel true peace.  In fact, I become almost more aware of the suffering of others.  Why are there so many poor?  Why do so many people have pain?  Why does evil seem to win out over good so often?  Being unselfish is a very good thing, but it does not bring me any closer to true bliss.

            I allow my meditative state to deepen.  My mind now begins to drift on its own and is open to thoughts and ideas that come from somewhere else.  They are not my thoughts, they are an experience from allowing my mind to remain free.  I suppose one could say I am reaching a true spiritual state.  Now, at this level, material things have little importance.  Without the concern of material things, I am free to focus on what is truly important.  I have a stronger sense of God, not that I can see God, but I clearly feel closer to my creator.  It is a wonderful feeling.  But then, surprisingly, I somehow know this level is not one of true peace.  While practical thoughts have nearly vanished, I find myself concerned about this new spiritual level.  Does God truly love me?  Does he love me as much as he does others?  Does he love the people that were so evil in the “real world”?  If so, why does he love them as much as he loves me?  At this spiritual level, will I encounter loved ones who have passed away?  Will I see my father?

I find myself losing the sense of peace that I thought I was feeling.  Even at this level, I want to experience more of this good feeling, and not knowing how to achieve that becomes a barrier to finding true peace.  And there are still things I don’t know.  In this world, a very spiritual world, should I expect to meet Jesus?  Is Jesus truly the Son of God?  Will I discover who God actually is?  I love this world, but I am still torn.  What is it that will bring me, or anyone, true peace?

            Then suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, I am at peace.  Total, blissful, tranquil peace.  I am at the deepest level of my meditation, and for the first time I understand what peace is.  It is a world of complete and total nothingness.  To be sure, it is not at all a world of emptiness or loneliness.  Far, far, from it.  In fact, it is a world of complete fullness.  But it is very clearly a world of nothingness.

            My mind has expanded beyond normal human thought.  As a human, one can only think in terms of comparisons.  Everything is seen as big or small, soft or hard, good or evil, fair or unfair.  Even in the previous level of my meditative state I questioned why God would love an evil person as much as a good person.  Humans see everything as different, and the good people, the ones who truly care about others, try so hard to make things equal.  This duality has defined not just our world, but even our subconscious thoughts.  ”Strong” has no meaning if there isn’t something “weak” to compare it to.  “Tall” has no meaning if there is not something else that is “short”.  Even “good” has no meaning unless there is something “bad” or “evil” to compare it to.

This new world is not a world of equality, for equality can only exist when there are different things that are judged to be the same.  One could look at two steel blocks that are alike in any possible form of measurement.  Anyone would say that these two blocks are the same, they are “equal”.  But yet they are distinctly two different blocks.  In this world, things are not equal, they are not the same.  There is simply nothing, so there is no judgment whatsoever.  Nothing is “good”, and nothing is “bad”, it just is.  In this world, all is one, and it is this oneness that sets this world apart from all others.  Nothing is different, and nothing is the same, for it is all one.

Most of us have been taught that in heaven, everything is good and happy.  But at this level of meditation, I understand that that cannot be true.  Good and happy can only exist if there is bad and sadness to go along with it.  That is why we humans can never achieve true peace.  Ironically, the very act of searching for peace prevents us from ever achieving it.

This new world I have arrived at in my deep meditative state is not good, or happy, or fair.  But neither is it bad, or sad, or unfair.  It is nothing, true nothing, a nothingness so profound that in experiencing it there is everything the soul needs to find peace.

            This is a perfect world.  It’s wrong to say I have everything I want or need, because there is nothing, including wanting or needing.  We do not need to look on the bright side here, because there are no sides.  In fact, “bright” has no meaning.  Everything is one, and the oneness is complete.  It is complete because, in effect, it is nothing.  And through this nothingness, I have everything.